Captain Picard says, “Report!” So I will.
I used to report to Ed, back when he was around to be
reported to, although I suspect now that he hated getting reported to, but
since he and Captain Picard are now fictional actors in my little personal TV
show, I will report to y’all instead.
I am out in the garden having a reprise of the 2008 Great
Zucchini Flood. Except that I didn’t plant my garden this year, my friend Fonda
did, and apparently she liked cucumbers. A lot. As well as summer squash. And arugula, but I was gone for the
first three weeks after it was planted and so by the time I got home and
checked out the garden, it had sprouted, shot up, bolted, and gone to seed. I
am saving the seed pods for some hypothetical future date when I plant more
arugula.
And I’m figuring out soaker hoses! All by myself! Apparently there are two ends of the hose and
one end screws into the other end. Who knew. I am proud. I bought a timer, too,
but that will have to wait until tomorrow because all my neurotransmitters are
used up for the day.
That’s the garden part of my report. On to e-mail and God.
E-mail wisdom. You’ll like this. I’ve learned that you don’t
have to push “send” after you’ve written an e-mail. There’s this little “save”
button that it is much, much better to push instead. And then you can find the
draft a week later and thank GOD that you didn’t send it.
And I know you want to know this, so I will tell you. I’m
having a little trouble with my Higher Power. (This is not as easily fixable as
the safety bar on the bumper of my car, because they have autobody shops for
that, but oh well.) Before you say to yourself, and I know there’s a good
chance that you are, “Oh oh, Brenda has got religion, now she will really be
obnoxious,” nobody knows what my H.P. is, including me. I think it has
something to do with uncovering my Buddha nature, and the one-ness of the
universe, and compassion and forgiveness, and believing that the resources will
be available to handle whatever comes next. But I’m not sure, because the next
starting point in my life is To Be Determined, mostly by other people. And I
really wish I had the kind of Higher Power that some of my friends seem to
have, where they are just sure they will be taken care of and they won’t have
to worry, because my worrier seems to be stuck on Turbo, except when I remember
to breathe.
One of my meditation buddies says to remember that I just
have this one breath, this only breath, and that during this one breath, I am
okay. Works for him. Sometimes works for me.
And then my wise friend Jayna says that my Higher Power
kicks ass. I’m glad she’s sure about that.
She also says that I’m not in control of the wind, or the
current, or the tides. But I am in control of whether I take the boat out that
day.
She says that there are some streets I shouldn’t drive down,
and some holes I don’t have to jump into. I could pay attention to that little
(metaphorical) sign, Bridge Out, instead.
The sun is shining, I took the detour, I’m breathing, I am
now the proud possessor of thirteen cucumbers, and I can take the boat out
today.
And that’s my report.
