When the Cup Runs Over, Get Another Cup

I woke up this morning realizing that the autumnal equinox wasn't kidding -- the fresh smell of damp greenery wafting through my window is here to stay for awhile. The fiercely hot weather of two weeks ago is really gone and we're back to clouds and intermittent rain -- a bit of warmth and sun now and then, but I know where we're headed.

I'm still getting over the loss of the summer before last. This makes me feel like one of J.R.R. Tolkien's immortal Elves, who after living for thousands of years see "the years fleet by -- it is a sorrow to them."

Aging around here is a real experience. Western life has been all about youth since the 1960s, and I discovered last week that even if I can pass for mid-to-late 30's, and I can, my eldest child just turned 28 and I would have had to be nine when she was born and that's just weird.

Besides which, I'm still mad at Nixon and if I were 38, I wouldn't remember Nixon.

Ah, youth! This is turning out to be any age under 40. (Remember "don't trust anybody over 30?" Now anybody under 30 is a kid.) Youth is obsessed with reproductive issues. Puberty, contraception, biological clocks, pregnancy, PMS. Thank God I'm past all that kid stuff. And it's not just women who have to deal with hormonal issues. I just read that when men have children and begin to take care of them, their testosterone level drops. You do know that the fluctuations in crime rates correlates to the percentage of young men in a society? More young men, more crime? It's not the guys' fault, it's their hormones. If less testosterone makes a guy less aggressive and more community minded, that might be a good thing.

Not that it ever looked good to combine inexperience with brains bathed in hormone soup. I taught middle school and I know what I'm talking about.

I think I've been afraid of aging because I've been stuck with outdated information. One hundred years ago, the average life expectancy for a woman was 48. Die in childbirth or of exhaustion after having 15 kids, oh boy! When Social Security was first established, half of all Americans died by the age of 62. This generation's 60-year-old looks like last generation's 40. Better diet, better exercise, and in many women's cases, the right hormones at the right point in their lives all have contributed to a completely new version of middle age than we're used to.

So now we have the luxury of finding out what it's really like to live a long post-reproductive life. What's it like to have a whole second adulthood?

I just read in "The Shallows: What the Internet is Doing to Our Brains," (an inflammatory title bestowed on a well-researched book on neuroscience by Nicholas Carr) that memories are laid down in the hippocampus and then, over time, are enriched and connected throughout all the different parts of our brains, including the olfactory, auditory, and linguistic centers. Memories are embedded into our brains as a whole. We synthesize new neural pathways as our memories become part of our thinking process. Then the unneeded "first draft" memory is erased from the hippocampus. So what I wrote in this space last week is wrong -- your brain can never be full. In fact, your ability to think deeply increases the longer you live and the more experience and knowledge you amass (that is, if you haven't fried your brain on drugs, such as too many hyperlinks).

If you're over 50, you might know what I'm talking about. Haven't you started to feel more centered, more confident, more...wise?

And if you're a younger adult, say, 30 or 35, and you're worried about getting older, don't be. The combination of knowledge, skills, memory, and a clear mind feels great. I know that might seem like a poor trade for the loss of (ah!) youth, but you'll see. I'm coming to believe that the difference between adults over 50 and adults under, say, 35, may be as significant as the difference between adults and pre-pubescent kids. Yes, aliens are among you and they are us.

And if you are already here with me, well into your second adulthood, keep eating your vegetables and walking and getting to the gym. You want to enjoy this good deal as long as possible.

I don't know about you, but I'm already planning my 100th birthday hike in the Italian Alps. If I can get my grandkids to go with me.